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This is where the internet provides anyone with opportunity to be a published writer. We hope you find these little stories amusing, or at least not annoying. Some literary liberties may be taken in recounting certain events.
Why people buy farm equipment?
One of the best things about my wife Diana is that she is easy. Now get your mind out of the gutter, not that kind of easy. There is another kind of easy that is every bit as important if you own a farm. Being easy when it comes to approving new equipment purchases.
Diana is a strong believer in having the right tools to do the job, especially when it comes to saving back breaking labor. I'm a strong believer in having the right tools too, but my definition of right tool is just a little more refined than hers--mine includes any job!
Like most guys, I can't just have a crescent wrench that is adjustable for all occasions, I have to have open and closed end wrenches, standard and deep well sockets, the special sockets that handle the buggered-up nuts (from trying to use a crescent wrench in the first place), a pneumatic impact wrench, etc. Now the good thing about having all these tools is that no matter what you are working on, you can alway count on having the wrong tool handy. In most cases, like real farmers, you end up doing with what you have...therefore, you end up using a screw driver as a chisel, channel lock pliers as a wrench and just about anything as a hammer.
Guys, it is very important that you not let your wife see you successful fix ANYTHING with these rudimentary tools, because it can completely break down the Perry Mason-like legal precedence you have developed for going to the hardware store to buy more "needed" tools.
During our first year on the farm, we decided to get soil samples to see what we needed to do to improve our soil. The Ag Extension office suggested we get a few samples by digging one-foot holes in several locations throughout our field. The dirt from these holes would then be mixed together to create an average sample. Diana said this should be easy as she headed out with her bucket and a shovel. An hour later she came back red-faced and mad--screaming get the tractor and put on that post hole digger thing--I broke the shovel in our "beautiful garden soil"!
After using the tractor to gather the necessary soil samples, but while she was still somewhat mad about the condition of our soil, I saw the perfect opportunity to try for the next big purchase I was considering--a backhoe. You know honey, I said, we may need something bigger than a shovel or even the post hole auger in order to plant all those fruit trees. I saw a nice backhoe for sale in the paper last week that could make short work of digging those holes. At the risk of over selling, I starting listing off all the other potential uses of such a versatile machine...moving mulch, installing drainage, removing stumps and weeding the driveway (my friend Phil was caught actually using his backhoe to remove dandelions from his driveway...show off). My timing was perfect and a week later I was digging holes everywhere.
Since that time we have really broadened our equipment inventory. We have all tier 1 machinery that even city folks have: riding mower, push mower, weed-whacker, chain saw, chipper shredder, rototiller, compressor and generator. We have moved into the tier 2 small-scale farmer with stuff like: two tractors with PTO's (power take off) and class-1 3-point hitches, backhoe and band saw mill.
Just recently we added a John Deer Gator. You might think that is kind of a city-fied luxury for true farmers, but we justified under "meeting ADA Requirements to provide equal access to all aspects of the farm for the elderly"--our aging parents. I must confess, I use the heck out of that thing. Why just the other day I was installing our new beaver-proof drainage pipe in the pond when I ran out of light.
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